Berg's Law of Rolling: I roll, therefore I am. The Beginner's Mantra: I didn't roll, therefore I swam. Fichter's Law of Playing: I surf, therefore I am. Reuman's Law of Aging: I endo, therefore I am. Kielkopf's Law of Number 2: Sometimes you play the hole, sometimes the hole plays you. Knapp's Law of the New Year: The water temperature, air temperature and combined IQ of the kayakers is less than 100. Marnie's Law: You will backendo at the most inopportune time and with the most entertaining results. Jansen's Law of Springtime: Sometimes you just have to turn over and smell the fishes. Mast's Law of Infinite Reversal: A wave is just a wave, but holes suck. Lynn's Law of Paddles: It's hard to roll with half a paddle. Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. Fitz's Corollary: Murphy lives in rapids. Alesch's Law: The best put-in is always on what someone thinks is private land. Baker's Law: Damn the Corps of Engineers! Regan's Law: Beware rapids with photographers at the ready. Bill's Law of Kodak Courage: The willingness of a paddler to run a nasty drop is directly proportional to the number of cameras present. Murphy's Corollary to Bill's Law: The probability that a paddler will crash and burn in a rapid is also directly proportional to the number of cameras, and the number of good shots taken is inversly proportional to the quality of the run. Shakespear's Law: A hole by any other name still sucks. Thomas's Law: Never put off until tomorrow what you can run today, the water might go down. Instructor's Law of Training Camp: Beginners will always lean upstream at the least opportune moment. Barnhardt's Law to Scouting: A rapid is rated as class III plus the number of times you have to take a leak while scouting. And always remember: Murphy was a kayaker.